THE LONELIEST CHRISTMAS

                              

This will be remembered as the loneliest Christmas ever. Parents and grandparents lament that they could not gather with their daughter and her family (five persons), even though they live in the same town. Families are lamenting that the only place they could see their aged parents who live in the nursing home was through the window. It is very difficult to sing Silent Night while standing in the snow.  In some provinces health restrictions allowed single people to gather with one other family, once, during the holiday season.

 

Isolation is very painful. 

 

Being alone during the holidays (which have years of memories for families) brings sadness. It now makes sense that loneliness has very debilitating effects on our physical well-being. Families will tell stories of their aged mother who used to cook big meals for her large family, and always taking great pride in her culinary skills, now that she is alone does not even cook anymore. In the broad sense of the word, every human being needs to care for other human beings. This is how we are alive. It is together that we thrive.

 

Friends  of my grandparents typifies our need for each other. She was eighty-eight and her husband (a vigorous ninety-four year old was her caregiver in the nursing home). He was a gentle and caring man. When she died his daughters said: ‘It won’t be long.’ Eight weeks later he also died. He was no longer needed. Truly this was a man who died of a broken heart (his body was still functional).

 

We find meaning in each other. 

 

What do I hope we learn from this lonely season of isolation?

 

May we act on the conclusion that we must not go out and buy another ‘thing.’ Give yourself a gift and play cards with the grandchildren. Do not fuss over the floors of your house; go out and have coffee with your friends. Take your wife out to the high-end Asian restaurant and try a new menu. 

 

At the end of the day does it really matter that you did not get around to sweeping the garage floor?

 

This Christmas we experienced a distance from our faith community. Christmas always meant so much as we journeyed through Advent and celebrated Christmas. We missed the rituals and the deep meaning that they stirred up in our lives. We were missing our God.

 

Each person must evaluate what has happened through this lonely Christmas season. We could move forward and return to our very busy lives (we would have learnt nothing). Or we will integrate this pain and suffering into a more life-nourishing life. 

 

Life can become better if we can hold the hand of our aged mother in her dementia, listen to the stories of our grandchildren, have time to coffee with lonely co-workers and former curling buddies and just enjoy our daily time with God in prayer.

 

There is a new road forward out of this isolation.

BETHLEHEM IS GOD’S RADICAL STATEMENT

 

There are some very beautiful things that happen in families that build the Christmas crib as part of their Christmas decorations. This also provides grandparents with a teaching moment where they can take each of the figures and teach the grandchildren the story of Bethlehem.

 

But there is a downside to all of this. We focus on ourselves rather than beginning with what God is doing. This is first and foremost an act of God. Everyone must stand before the Christmas crib and ask, “and what is God doing here?”

 

Bethlehem is not sweet nor is it nice. These are people forced by the occupying force (the Romans) to make a trip to be registered – for taxation purposes by the enemy! This is an oppressive journey.

 

The birth of the child happens in the overflow area, you might say the parking lot, of the local inn. These are poor people who cannot afford the price of a night’s lodging. 

 

As we tell the Christmas story we must put ourselves in the shoes of Mary, Joseph and the shepherds (day labourers). Life was pretty rough and tough in Bethlehem!

 

God has chosen to be born, fragile and vulnerable, among us, but not among the rich and the powerful. He comes among the working poor of that society. 

 

What kind of statement is God making?

 

We see what God is doing in the actions and teachings of Jesus. He is actually God with skin on! The central act of God is God pouring out God’s-self to humanity. The birth of Jesus amidst a struggling humanity is God fully immersing God’s-self in the human reality.

 

God is making a statement that all human beings are wanted and valued. This grates against all societies where there are winners and losers. Everywhere there are groups of people who are under-valued and pushed to the margins. Bethlehem runs counter to the way we organize human society. The geography of the birth makes the statement that God is joined to everyone. beginning with the poor and the forgotten.

The shepherds are not some local business people who have resources and command respect. They were men who were day labourers and struggled to find sufficient work to feed their families. These were people on the edge of survival, and they were not always appreciated by the town people who had some resources and power.

 

Bethlehem is radical. God breaks into humanity and it does always make us feel comfortable because God’s actions are for everyone, especially the little ones of this world.

 

The next step of this challenging story is for us to be embraced by the powerful love of God for humanity. Our lives are meant to grow in compassion for the little ones of this earth.

 

May Christmas just expand your heart and your vision for living.

MAKING SENSE IN THIS DECEMBER’S DESERT

 

In the Vancouver area there is a wonderful family of three very talented and energetic daughters with a practical, down to earth Saskatchewan raised mother. Whenever the young people would make wonderful plans for their future or plans for a little holiday, their practical mother would add, “And how are you going to raise the funds to do that?”

 

Dreaming is nice but it demands action and hard work.

 

This is where we need such a healthy corrective to the perception of most born-Christians. Real life takes a lot of hard work. An authentic spiritual life takes a lot of hard work. This is not a one-way street where God does all the heavy lifting!

 

This year the season of Advent locates us in the desert. We long for our friends and social contacts during the past nine months. We feel the absence of not being able to gather together for prayer and the Sunday Eucharist. If we have lost a loved one during the past nine months we have a knowing emptiness that we have not celebrated their life properly.

 

But it is often in pain and absence that we can hear the movement and presence of God. When we pray over the pain of the Hebrews in Babylon (seventy years of suffering), we can begin to identify with their longing to return to Jerusalem and our own longing for the presence of God in this desert season.

 

There are many things we can only understand through suffering and failure. In our demanding society where we are always moving forward there is little space to take ownership of the truths suffering, loss and frustrations can bring. It is a very immature culture that teaches us that the only worthwhile projects are always successful; things that make us feel good.

 

Advent says, ‘step back. Take a good hard look at the deprivations of life. What in this darkness teaches you to live in trust with the goodness of God? Where in this absence do you experience a hunger for the strength that God will give you?

 

Stand with your family, friends, co-workers and fellow-citizens who are unemployed, feeling the weight of the dementia in their aging parents and the families that have lost a son or brother through a drug overdose. What is happening to your spirit when you open your heart to their tears and frustrations?

 

As we look forward to the birth day of the Son of God, we must do the hard work of walking with the pain-filled but hopeful Hebrew ancestors and our neighbors  who are experiencing the darkness of doubt and meaninglessness in this difficult season.

 

We may hesitate to embrace the gifts of Advent. This is very much a time when we need to receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit in this time of darkness, confusion and insecurity. There is much to gain in this Advent season. 

 

 

 

 

CHURCHES WHO OPPOSE HEALTH ORDERS

 

 

On Monday morning, November 30, the media carried an article about three churches in B.C. who opposed the closure orders by the Provincial Department of Health. This was all based on our rights as Canadians to freedom to worship and opposition to government imposing restrictions on religious worship.

This opposition only arises out of a very small minority of faith communities. Have these faith communities (which includes faith communities from the World’s religions) thought there opposition through? Or are they trying to pick a fight with government, or anyone else, who is trying to make us do something that we oppose? What is the motivation here?

Our Christian understanding of our place in the society is one of charity and responsibility. We strong affirm that every human being has the right to worship in the way they responsibility choose. Religious practice must never be forced on a population. But that is only one half of the equation.

As human beings, and faith communities, we have the responsibility to defend and protect the health of the larger population. On one side there must be freedom to worship but it carries with it the responsibility to ensure that the population is protected from disease and oppression.

Bonnie Henry, chief medical health office for the province of British Columbia, was quoted: “I will always be accused of doing too much or not enough, that’s our life right now. I do not believe, at all, that we are affecting people’s ability to [practise their religion] under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms,” she said, citing recent comments from Pope Francis that churches should lead the way in co-operation with public-health orders. “This is about taking those measures to protect people from this virus and no more so than when we come together as a community indoors right now that puts people at risk.”

“On the weekend, the Pope said Christian churches and other religions “have a primary duty to offer an example of dialogue, mutual respect and practical co-operation.” [i]

Almost all Canadian faith communities have responded in a very responsible manner to protect Canadians. They have suffered because of their responsible actions but they are contributing to the well-being of the population of Canada.

These small fringe groups that oppose the health restrictions refuse to excise responsibility toward the common good of all citizens. We must not hesitate to point out their errors.

But we do not want to be smug and self-righteous. These lock downs have caused us much suffering. We experience the absence of communal worship, the support of face-to-face community, the absence of significant celebrations, especially funerals and the weakness of financial support during these long months. 

Responsibility and caring for the common good does not mean that we will not suffer painful consequences. But this is the price we must pay for living in a responsible and caring manner.

[1] Globe and Mail, Dec. 1, 2020

 

 

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