A CHURCH THAT STRUGGLES TO LISTEN

              

 

In our daily interactions with others it is obvious that the people who talk a lot are always talking about themselves. We all have a few relatives who receive polite attention while they chatter about all and everything. When we leave the room there is nothing worthwhile to remember! Chatters never check in to register whether what they said was of any value. 

 

As strange as it might seem, the more talking (quantity), the less actual communication (quality) that actually happens. We can be connected to hundreds of people on our phone or texting, but that does not mean that we have actually listened to a single one of them. And they in turn, have probably not listened to us!

 

We have this wonderful teacher in grade five who reminds his students often: ‘So long as you are talking you are not listening!’

 

In our parish communities we need a lot more listening to the hearts and the struggles of each other. When we listen to their stories we will be changed. 

 

There is much suffering and struggles in the lives of people that we interact with.  They need to be listened to, embraced and they need a supporting ear to walk with them in this difficult period.

 

In our parish communities we need to listen to the men and women who are unemployed or living on the brink of having to shut down their business that they worked so hard to build up in the past ten years. We might be powerless to help them today, but we can make the space to hear their frustrations and boredom while the days and weeks flow into months of unemployment.

 

They might be very reluctant to share about the divisions within their own family but listen to the grandmothers and grandfathers who cry and pray over the two sons who will not talk to each other …. and they only live six city blocks apart. Here these grandparents are coming to the final years of their life and this family is living in failure mode. Listen to the tears of these parents.

 

Listen to the divorced who feel so distant to the church and who are trying to redefine their lives in regard to their own family and their circle of friends and acquaintances. The marriage may end but the relationship never ends. Can we listen to the struggles and pain of the divorced?

 

Often our young adults are floundering like a swimmer who is in trouble in the water. What is there to guide them on to that is solid? meaningful and life-giving? What will give this young life definite meaning and purpose? In a society where everything appears up for grabs, what truths will anchor my life? We may be financially rich, but oh, so confused and insecure. Who will listen to our uncertainties?

 

In our day to day actions as church we need a lot less chatter and a lot more listening. The listening must be patient, intense and brave. There will be moments when we have to deal with things we would rather not hear. But in all this listening to the stories and the pain of others, we will be changed. 

 

Some of the greatest communication happens with a lot less words but with sincere listening. 

 

 

PREPARE FOR THE GREAT LONELINESS

        

 

When I look toward the future, I look to the population under the age of fifty-five, I want to caution them to prepare for the great loneliness in the last twenty years of their lives.

 

We have become so individualistic in out culture (the entire North American culture) but our individualism, the weakness of our commitment and connection to the larger community, has unpleasant consequences. We may come to old age with the financial resources to look after ourselves until the day we die but there may be hardly anyone who will care how well we are doing in our declining years. 

 

If we are not involved and committed to the well-being of the community in which we live at the age of forty, we will most probably carry that same lifestyle with us into our eighties. Just a few months ago, one older parent shared that their forty-year old son and his family belong to nothing except to a sports club in Calgary. Then he stepped back from the sentence: “But they pay a subscription fee for that service.”

 

As a human being, if we do not belong to the larger community beyond ourselves, no one will belong to us. If people say in the nursing home, “No one comes to see me or to even care for me,” we will sadly add, “But you were not there for anyone when you were in your forties and fifties.” Loneliness, as the ghost of our past absence to community, will come back to haunt us in the one room in which we live in the nursing home.

 

Families are also so small and divided in so many ways that we can envision the situation of the adult daughter or son asking the question: Who will look after my aged Mother in Prince George and my aged Father in Winnipeg? Is loneliness what life comes to in old age?

 

Our deepest human need is to belong. This need is stronger than our need for nourishment. Our strongest community will almost always be our family. But we must not neglect all the other forms of belonging that we need to survive as a human being. We need to belong to the people who are physically around us. We need to belong to the civic community (however large or small that may be).  We need a community of friends, work associates and other communities.

 

But if we do not belong (a working commitment) to other forms of community, the consequence will follow; no one will belong to us. Hence: loneliness!

 

When we see our adult children dropping out of our faith communities (it is also very prevalent in the Moslem, Hindu and Buddhist faiths), we need to recognize that the first commitment people drop out in this individualist culture is the faith community. Do not stop there. Continue counting all the other forms of community that they are not involved in and committed to.   Do not be surprised that the connection and commitment to family may be very weak.

 

The direction of the cultural flow in North America is to arrive at the last twenty years of life, to be financially secure, but oh, so lonely!

 

 

 

  

A CREATION CENTERED SPIRITUALITY: I NEED HELP

 

    

                      

 

A turn toward a creation-centered and respect for all human life in our Christian spirituality is not something that is new. This has been the result of a century and a quarter of Catholic social teaching which has defined the position of the Christian believer to the earth and human life. 

 

Our commitment to God is not a ‘sacristy faith’ that is lived out in the safety of the church building and its structures. Catholics have a very strong sense of responsibility towards the world and we live out our faith on the highways and the byways of life. We have not always been successful in living our commitment to Christ through our lifestyle. There will always be a few individuals who refuse to deal with the storms and the upsets that happen through the history of a single individual. There are many difficult moments to contend with as we move through life. For the Christian, this must always be done in conjunction with God. 

 

For the past sixty years scientists have been warning earth’s citizens that the behavior of human beings is leading to the warming of the climate and destruction of the water and soil resources of the earth. If we humans change nothing we are heading for the collapse of the earth’s systems. The warming of the earth is happening slowly. Many people want to dismiss the danger. “There is nothing happening now, so why get excited.”

 

It has taken humanity two hundred and fifty years to move into the industrial revolution. It will take at least a hundred years to move into a life-sustaining type of life. Humans can save the planet earth. It is within our power to make all the necessary changes to our life style and our social values.

 

In 2015, when Pope Francis issued the encyclical, ‘Laudato si,” he brought the full weight of our faith convictions to saving the only home we have, our Mother Earth. He made no advances in the doctrines we believe in but he laid the challenge before all people of good will to care for the only home we have. He gave the traditional teachings of the Church much great impetus. We are challenged!

 

Spirituality and/or religious faith have incredible power to energize people to work towards social justice and a change in the life stye of our society. It can give energy to move individuals and entire communities to work towards  achieving social justice. We need to be reminded that two hundred years ago it was the people of the Church who spearheaded and brought about the end to slavery in the British Empire. 

 

The first group of people that should stand up to our responsibility to work towards a sustainable earth should be Christians. They are committed to our God who loves and cares for every part of the earth, even the smallest bacteria in the soil. If this is their God, what must the behavior of the believer be towards the earth? And a sustainable future?

 

This is where I need help. What are the prayers and spiritual practices that will connect me to the earth and to help creation thrive? What are the teachings that we must embrace to love and respect the earth?

 

What does my faith offer me to be a responsible earth citizen in 2020?

DO GOODNESS FOR ITS OWN SAKE

                           

This week while reading Pope Francis’ new encyclical (Fratelli Tutti  #139) one suggestion caught my attention: Do good. The only reason to do good is the goodness itself.

 

From time to time in our spiritual lives we need that small provocation to do good. Too much of our actions always demand a consequence, if not a reward than at least a recognition of the good we have done. 

 

Do good but not in the sight of others. Do good and hope that no one ever recognizes the good you have done. Do good so that only God will see the good you have done.

 

There is a mid-seventies man, John, who takes his long time co-worker , Nick, for coffee every morning. Nick is mid-way to advanced dementia. He no longer makes any conversation but he still enjoys getting out for coffee with others (he does not recognize the old time friends around the table). 

 

There is Helen and Justina, our two grandmothers whose driving we are all nervous bout, who make it a point twice a week to visit the elderly shut-ins in their Saskatchewan town. Even though they have known each other for decades they want to make sure that no one is forgotten and left to slowly deteriorate on the sidelines. 

 

There is Alice who is always available to sit with the dying in the palliative care ward. Today when families are so small they appreciate Alice, who is not a nurse, spending time with the dying loved one while they try to catch some much needed sleep. 

 

We have Catherine who calls up her grade four teacher and invites her to go out for coffee. Now Ms. Helen would never ask anyone to take her to the grocery store or a medical appointment. On the way to Tim Horton’s Catherine makes mention: “I have to stop and pick up a few things at the grocery store. Is there anything you need to pick up?” Even though this is now their little game, it still provides assistance to Ms. Helen who would never ask for help otherwise.

 

No one needs to go searching for the good they can do towards others. They only have to open their eyes. What we are dealing with here is our firm belief in the power of goodness itself. An act of goodness is done simply for its own importance and contribution towards the lives of others. Goodness does not have to explain itself. If someone would ask you, ‘why are you doing that?’, you only give them that look that says they should already understand the motivation and say, ‘because!’

 

Doing good that only God will see is always an opportunity. This is a graced moment to lift the spirits of another, even if they are totally unaware of this act of goodness.

 

Would it not be wonderful if everyone who claims to believe in God would begin their day, “Lord, let me do good today because I will never pass this way again.”

FRIDAY: PROTESTING IN THE STREETS

                          

 

Now that school is back in almost every country it is time to renew the protests that a young Swedish activist, Greta Thunburg, has asked that Friday be a day of protest and concern for the future of the earth. 

 

It is very good to see so many young people hit the streets to speak to political leaders and their own citizens of our need to work towards a sustainable future.

 

But it is not sufficient to raise our voices and demand change from our government leaders.  We need to ask each of these protestors what they are doing in their own personal lives to give the earth a sustainable future. Is your witness (your concerns) authentic or are you just passing the buck, demanding that someone else (i.e., the government) do something about the impending destruction of the earth’s environment?

 

This is where the wisdom of the Indian prophet, Mahatma  Gandi (d. 1949), challenges us in a most helpful way. He challenged every human being (and especially his fellow citizens who were protesting the English domination of life and the economy of India): “Be the change you want the world to become.”

 

Before you demand that others change their ways, you change!

 

To all the protesters on the streets this past Friday we must say, ‘What are you doing to contribute to a sustainable life on planet earth?’ Never hit the streets in protest if you are not already moving into a lifestyle that consumes less of the earth’s resources.

 

The first way we can make a contribution to the sustainability of the earth is to cut down on our consumption (i.e., reduce). What if every one of the protestors took a good look at the amount of clothes handing in their closets (i.e., unused for most of the year)? How many extra pair of jeans does each person have that are not being worn? 

 

What about all the electronic equipment, new gadgets, recreational items that are very seldom used? And then like so many of our unworn clothes, we discard them.

 

Consider what a difference it would make if everyone cut their consumption by ten percent? Twenty give percent? Would these protestors on the streets actually feel any deprivation if they just cut down their consumption? Would anyone in the First World (to top twenty percent of the world’s earth) suffer any inconvenience?

 

If you want the world to move into a sustainable mode of living, begin now! Every protestor on the street can make a significant difference to the future of the world.

 

Now, we must move into our churches and worship centers. What kind of leadership are we being given to care for the earth? Move into a more sustainable form of living? How is our parish community helping us to care for the only home we have, the earth?