In our daily interactions with others it is obvious that the people who talk a lot are always talking about themselves. We all have a few relatives who receive polite attention while they chatter about all and everything. When we leave the room there is nothing worthwhile to remember! Chatters never check in to register whether what they said was of any value.
As strange as it might seem, the more talking (quantity), the less actual communication (quality) that actually happens. We can be connected to hundreds of people on our phone or texting, but that does not mean that we have actually listened to a single one of them. And they in turn, have probably not listened to us!
We have this wonderful teacher in grade five who reminds his students often: ‘So long as you are talking you are not listening!’
In our parish communities we need a lot more listening to the hearts and the struggles of each other. When we listen to their stories we will be changed.
There is much suffering and struggles in the lives of people that we interact with. They need to be listened to, embraced and they need a supporting ear to walk with them in this difficult period.
In our parish communities we need to listen to the men and women who are unemployed or living on the brink of having to shut down their business that they worked so hard to build up in the past ten years. We might be powerless to help them today, but we can make the space to hear their frustrations and boredom while the days and weeks flow into months of unemployment.
They might be very reluctant to share about the divisions within their own family but listen to the grandmothers and grandfathers who cry and pray over the two sons who will not talk to each other …. and they only live six city blocks apart. Here these grandparents are coming to the final years of their life and this family is living in failure mode. Listen to the tears of these parents.
Listen to the divorced who feel so distant to the church and who are trying to redefine their lives in regard to their own family and their circle of friends and acquaintances. The marriage may end but the relationship never ends. Can we listen to the struggles and pain of the divorced?
Often our young adults are floundering like a swimmer who is in trouble in the water. What is there to guide them on to that is solid? meaningful and life-giving? What will give this young life definite meaning and purpose? In a society where everything appears up for grabs, what truths will anchor my life? We may be financially rich, but oh, so confused and insecure. Who will listen to our uncertainties?
In our day to day actions as church we need a lot less chatter and a lot more listening. The listening must be patient, intense and brave. There will be moments when we have to deal with things we would rather not hear. But in all this listening to the stories and the pain of others, we will be changed.
Some of the greatest communication happens with a lot less words but with sincere listening.
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