YOUR GRANDCHILDREN WILL BE LONELY

 

Several years ago, after an all-day meeting, we went for a walk and decided to drop in for a treat at Starbuck’s. This was a fairly large restaurant. It was eight o’clock in the evening. I counted eight single adults, all sitting with a cup of coffee on their table and a book. Why so many singles on a weekday evening? 

 

This is Ottawa. Countless numbers of people, well educated, have found very good jobs in the service  of the Federal Government. Why are they  at  Starbucks, all alone?  Better to be around people than to be all alone in your apartment. Staring at the four walls is not reassuring. This is a sign of the loneliness in our society. but it is also a healthy manifestation of our human need to connect with others. 

 

In our modern economy we have to relocate; maybe several times, because of jobs and opportunities. There is an opportunity to advance yourself, in a job that suits you and that you find very fulfilling. You look forward to this new position. But you have to relocate and try to build up a new cadre of friendships. 

 

The reality of loneliness is manifested in our nursing homes. Every staff member will tell you sad stories about their residents who never have anyone come to visit them. The only social connections they have is with the staff. And the staff member whom the elder may connect with my find a higher paying position and move on. People all around in this nursing home and yet so lonely!

 

We are humans we need to be connected with others. There is the one or two long term friendships . But we all need many lesser connections such as co-workers, coffee friends, bowling teams members, cousins and just being able to interact with the people next door. 

 

When the medical people state that loneliness can be as harmful to your health as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day, no one questions whether or not this is true. We know that loneliness is very determinantal to human well-being. 

 

Here is where the local parish church community must do some serious reflection about how it tries to live our faith. Are  we a church where people come to do their Sunday mass, interact with almost no one else and leave unnoticed? Who notices if you are missing? 

Are we so tied up with doing the religious ritual correctly that we do not see the smile on the face of the other? 

 

In the past (over fifty years ago) the parish was also the focus of much of our social life. Our children played and interacted together. We knew almost everyone because we had washed dishes together or helped new-comers and refugees getting settled. We got to know each other and care about each other because we had learned to work and cooperate together. 

 

I would like to leave you with just one question: if a new comer arrives in town, will they first think, ‘I will go to church because they will welcome me’ or will they pick up their book and have a coffee, all alone, at Starbuck’s?