THE LONELIEST CHRISTMAS

                              

This will be remembered as the loneliest Christmas ever. Parents and grandparents lament that they could not gather with their daughter and her family (five persons), even though they live in the same town. Families are lamenting that the only place they could see their aged parents who live in the nursing home was through the window. It is very difficult to sing Silent Night while standing in the snow.  In some provinces health restrictions allowed single people to gather with one other family, once, during the holiday season.

 

Isolation is very painful. 

 

Being alone during the holidays (which have years of memories for families) brings sadness. It now makes sense that loneliness has very debilitating effects on our physical well-being. Families will tell stories of their aged mother who used to cook big meals for her large family, and always taking great pride in her culinary skills, now that she is alone does not even cook anymore. In the broad sense of the word, every human being needs to care for other human beings. This is how we are alive. It is together that we thrive.

 

Friends  of my grandparents typifies our need for each other. She was eighty-eight and her husband (a vigorous ninety-four year old was her caregiver in the nursing home). He was a gentle and caring man. When she died his daughters said: ‘It won’t be long.’ Eight weeks later he also died. He was no longer needed. Truly this was a man who died of a broken heart (his body was still functional).

 

We find meaning in each other. 

 

What do I hope we learn from this lonely season of isolation?

 

May we act on the conclusion that we must not go out and buy another ‘thing.’ Give yourself a gift and play cards with the grandchildren. Do not fuss over the floors of your house; go out and have coffee with your friends. Take your wife out to the high-end Asian restaurant and try a new menu. 

 

At the end of the day does it really matter that you did not get around to sweeping the garage floor?

 

This Christmas we experienced a distance from our faith community. Christmas always meant so much as we journeyed through Advent and celebrated Christmas. We missed the rituals and the deep meaning that they stirred up in our lives. We were missing our God.

 

Each person must evaluate what has happened through this lonely Christmas season. We could move forward and return to our very busy lives (we would have learnt nothing). Or we will integrate this pain and suffering into a more life-nourishing life. 

 

Life can become better if we can hold the hand of our aged mother in her dementia, listen to the stories of our grandchildren, have time to coffee with lonely co-workers and former curling buddies and just enjoy our daily time with God in prayer.

 

There is a new road forward out of this isolation.

BETHLEHEM IS GOD’S RADICAL STATEMENT

 

There are some very beautiful things that happen in families that build the Christmas crib as part of their Christmas decorations. This also provides grandparents with a teaching moment where they can take each of the figures and teach the grandchildren the story of Bethlehem.

 

But there is a downside to all of this. We focus on ourselves rather than beginning with what God is doing. This is first and foremost an act of God. Everyone must stand before the Christmas crib and ask, “and what is God doing here?”

 

Bethlehem is not sweet nor is it nice. These are people forced by the occupying force (the Romans) to make a trip to be registered – for taxation purposes by the enemy! This is an oppressive journey.

 

The birth of the child happens in the overflow area, you might say the parking lot, of the local inn. These are poor people who cannot afford the price of a night’s lodging. 

 

As we tell the Christmas story we must put ourselves in the shoes of Mary, Joseph and the shepherds (day labourers). Life was pretty rough and tough in Bethlehem!

 

God has chosen to be born, fragile and vulnerable, among us, but not among the rich and the powerful. He comes among the working poor of that society. 

 

What kind of statement is God making?

 

We see what God is doing in the actions and teachings of Jesus. He is actually God with skin on! The central act of God is God pouring out God’s-self to humanity. The birth of Jesus amidst a struggling humanity is God fully immersing God’s-self in the human reality.

 

God is making a statement that all human beings are wanted and valued. This grates against all societies where there are winners and losers. Everywhere there are groups of people who are under-valued and pushed to the margins. Bethlehem runs counter to the way we organize human society. The geography of the birth makes the statement that God is joined to everyone. beginning with the poor and the forgotten.

The shepherds are not some local business people who have resources and command respect. They were men who were day labourers and struggled to find sufficient work to feed their families. These were people on the edge of survival, and they were not always appreciated by the town people who had some resources and power.

 

Bethlehem is radical. God breaks into humanity and it does always make us feel comfortable because God’s actions are for everyone, especially the little ones of this world.

 

The next step of this challenging story is for us to be embraced by the powerful love of God for humanity. Our lives are meant to grow in compassion for the little ones of this earth.

 

May Christmas just expand your heart and your vision for living.

MAKING SENSE IN THIS DECEMBER’S DESERT

 

In the Vancouver area there is a wonderful family of three very talented and energetic daughters with a practical, down to earth Saskatchewan raised mother. Whenever the young people would make wonderful plans for their future or plans for a little holiday, their practical mother would add, “And how are you going to raise the funds to do that?”

 

Dreaming is nice but it demands action and hard work.

 

This is where we need such a healthy corrective to the perception of most born-Christians. Real life takes a lot of hard work. An authentic spiritual life takes a lot of hard work. This is not a one-way street where God does all the heavy lifting!

 

This year the season of Advent locates us in the desert. We long for our friends and social contacts during the past nine months. We feel the absence of not being able to gather together for prayer and the Sunday Eucharist. If we have lost a loved one during the past nine months we have a knowing emptiness that we have not celebrated their life properly.

 

But it is often in pain and absence that we can hear the movement and presence of God. When we pray over the pain of the Hebrews in Babylon (seventy years of suffering), we can begin to identify with their longing to return to Jerusalem and our own longing for the presence of God in this desert season.

 

There are many things we can only understand through suffering and failure. In our demanding society where we are always moving forward there is little space to take ownership of the truths suffering, loss and frustrations can bring. It is a very immature culture that teaches us that the only worthwhile projects are always successful; things that make us feel good.

 

Advent says, ‘step back. Take a good hard look at the deprivations of life. What in this darkness teaches you to live in trust with the goodness of God? Where in this absence do you experience a hunger for the strength that God will give you?

 

Stand with your family, friends, co-workers and fellow-citizens who are unemployed, feeling the weight of the dementia in their aging parents and the families that have lost a son or brother through a drug overdose. What is happening to your spirit when you open your heart to their tears and frustrations?

 

As we look forward to the birth day of the Son of God, we must do the hard work of walking with the pain-filled but hopeful Hebrew ancestors and our neighbors  who are experiencing the darkness of doubt and meaninglessness in this difficult season.

 

We may hesitate to embrace the gifts of Advent. This is very much a time when we need to receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit in this time of darkness, confusion and insecurity. There is much to gain in this Advent season. 

 

 

 

 

CHURCHES WHO OPPOSE HEALTH ORDERS

 

 

On Monday morning, November 30, the media carried an article about three churches in B.C. who opposed the closure orders by the Provincial Department of Health. This was all based on our rights as Canadians to freedom to worship and opposition to government imposing restrictions on religious worship.

This opposition only arises out of a very small minority of faith communities. Have these faith communities (which includes faith communities from the World’s religions) thought there opposition through? Or are they trying to pick a fight with government, or anyone else, who is trying to make us do something that we oppose? What is the motivation here?

Our Christian understanding of our place in the society is one of charity and responsibility. We strong affirm that every human being has the right to worship in the way they responsibility choose. Religious practice must never be forced on a population. But that is only one half of the equation.

As human beings, and faith communities, we have the responsibility to defend and protect the health of the larger population. On one side there must be freedom to worship but it carries with it the responsibility to ensure that the population is protected from disease and oppression.

Bonnie Henry, chief medical health office for the province of British Columbia, was quoted: “I will always be accused of doing too much or not enough, that’s our life right now. I do not believe, at all, that we are affecting people’s ability to [practise their religion] under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms,” she said, citing recent comments from Pope Francis that churches should lead the way in co-operation with public-health orders. “This is about taking those measures to protect people from this virus and no more so than when we come together as a community indoors right now that puts people at risk.”

“On the weekend, the Pope said Christian churches and other religions “have a primary duty to offer an example of dialogue, mutual respect and practical co-operation.” [i]

Almost all Canadian faith communities have responded in a very responsible manner to protect Canadians. They have suffered because of their responsible actions but they are contributing to the well-being of the population of Canada.

These small fringe groups that oppose the health restrictions refuse to excise responsibility toward the common good of all citizens. We must not hesitate to point out their errors.

But we do not want to be smug and self-righteous. These lock downs have caused us much suffering. We experience the absence of communal worship, the support of face-to-face community, the absence of significant celebrations, especially funerals and the weakness of financial support during these long months. 

Responsibility and caring for the common good does not mean that we will not suffer painful consequences. But this is the price we must pay for living in a responsible and caring manner.

[1] Globe and Mail, Dec. 1, 2020

 

 

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COVID TIMES; TAKE STOCK

                                  

 

 

We have almost completed nine months of isolation and distancing due to the Covid virus. This has been a long and difficult time for everyone. Each one must stand back and take stock over what we have lost during these nine months, and what we have to look forward to in the next seven months (about the time it will take to do about half of the vaccinations in this country). 

 

When we take stock of what we have lost, it will spur us on to treasure and value what we have lost. Eighty years ago the generation that grew up during the great depression (1930-39) knew how important it was to work hard and build up security for their family’s future. The suffering of deprivation made them very determined to preserve the values of security for others (their own family).

 

Great good could arise out of the sufferings of this pandemic.

 

We have been deprived of our social contacts, family members, friends and the necessary and meaningful gatherings that we need to navigate life. We are ever so conscious that our grandparents are not hugging their grandchildren, our elderly and lonely parents have only one or two designated visitors, and we struggle that our family Christmas celebration may be limited to only five people. Our bodies and spirits cry out for daily social contact.

 

In all of our Canadian society we are painfully aware of the inadequate care that we are providing to our seniors in the long-term care homes. We have  structured our care with the minimum of care workers. The inadequacy has now come home to roast and it is not pleasant. 

 

The pandemic has brought to the fore the inequality between the various racial groups, the disparity between the lower wage earners and the newcomers to Canada and the long-time citizens. Daily we ae confronted with the shortcomings of our Canadian society.

 

Canadians who walk a spiritual life and are part of a faith community lament the absence of praying together, supporting each other and being nourished by spiritual worship in their own faith communities. This pain, this absence, is felt by all spiritual people, of all the religions practiced in Canada.

 

Now, what are we going to do with this pain, these gaping holes in our lives? 

 

This time of crisis is very much a time of opportunity. As Christian believers we must ask what God is leading us to embrace.

 

Hopefully we will turn to a life filled with more solidarity with one another. Human beings only thrive when they are connected and supportive of one another.  Hopefully we will work harder at building community, at all levels: family.  This rugged individualism is leaving us very lonely and unsupported. 

 

May our future be filled with a stronger desire and spiritual plan to build stronger bridges with our fellow believers, the neighbors who live right around us and all the new comers that are trying to make Canada their new home. 

 

 

 

 

I WILL DO IT MY WAY

 

 

 

One of the most profound lesson I learnt about our Christian faith happened some years ago when an insistent mother demanded to have her baby baptized. There was no connection with the Church and strong resistance to any teaching of our faith. 

 

I pointed out to her as gentle as I could that what she was asking was not baptism. She looked at me so firmly and stated her non-negotiable position, “I’ll make it what I want!”

 

This is the way most people actually live out their religious faith, or live out the poverty of their religious faith, by making themselves the standard. What I do is good enough! 

 

In the dregs of the Catholic experience there is much untruth and unpleasant memories. I use the word ‘dregs’ to indicate that we need to be aware of what is festering in our Catholic psyche. Probably this young mother was coming from a background where there was so much fear that if you did not find a priest to pour the water on your baby and something negative would happen, you would be a terrible parent for the rest of your life. Your ‘unbaptized’ baby was no good before God. Never doubt the hold that superstition can have on peoples’ lives. 

 

If you are like this young mother you are convinced that you are right and no one can challenge you with the truth!

 

Religion has its bad side. People will hang on for generations to their fears that this baby will be condemned to a limbo because God is so terrible. 

 

Not everyone lives in a healthy functioning church. When you are a living part of a faith community you will be challenged and have to readjust some of your thinking about God, Church, sin, redemption and eternal life. When you are part of a healthy church you will be questioned and challenged on some of your interpretations. This is a healthy part of spiritual and human growth.

 

Built into this “ I will make it what I want” is the resistance to conversion to the Gospel way of life. Jesus challenges us to turn toward God’s plan for humanity. He calls us to make a radical change in our lives and follow the Good News of the Gospel. Each believer must undergo conversion on their adult journey. 

 

But how can you hear the call for conversion if you are already leading a satisfactory religious life?

 

It is not only individuals who resist conversion. The entire Church can get locked in to mindset that resists the call by the prophets among us to change our way of being Church, to change our unjust business practices and the ways that we exclude the poor from the benefits of our society. 

A healthy Church is a faith community that is responding to the call of Jesus to change our lives. It demands a real turning towards the sharing life in Christ. It demands that we get on board with the life-project that Jesus brings us, that is to grow into the likeness of Jesus Christ in our own space and time

 

 

 

 

TURNING THE CHURCH TOWARD THE POOR

            

 

Pay attention to who your leaders are. A leader always sets the tone of the group whether it be country, school or workplace. Now tone is something that is difficult to define in words but you sure can feel it in practice. 

 

Our school boards have learnt this lesson long ago. They work hard to bring a functioning leader who works towards clear goals in the education process, is able to work with many different personalities and has a real love for the students and their parents. The personality and working habits of the principal colors everything in a particular school.

 

Our church has been blessed with Pope Francis. Thousands of ordinary Catholics and many non-participants are so happy with this very approachable person. But there are many others (more silent about their opposition) who are rather uncomfortable with the direction that he appears to be taking us.

 

Actually, he is challenging the entire membership of the Church to become a ‘poor church for the poor.’ Whereas people in the past may have expected the pope to shore up the doctrine and the discipline of the Church, Pope Francis is leading the way for the believers everywhere to turn toward the poor in their own country and in the world and walking with the poor of this world. 

 

Within the life of the Church, we must always be concerned that the correct doctrine is being preached and prayed by the people at the local level. But that is only half of the story. The Pope must be concerned about the correct practice of Christianity. In other words, our correct doctrines must take flesh in the daily lives of believers. 

 

This is why he has asked that this Sunday (November 15, 2020) be designated as the Sunday of the poor of this world. He wants people worldwide to pay attention to the ever-widening gap between the rich and the poor. He wants believers to pay attention to who are the poor among their population. Most often, the poor are invisible to the working citizens of a particular country. 

 

This Sunday provides an opportunity to reflect on the teachings of Jesus toward the poor of his time and place. What did he bring to those who were suffering or excluded from sharing fully in the society? How did he lift the life and value of the poor up?

 

Two centuries from now people will say that Pope Francis was on the right side of history. He is trying to move the Church to where it needs to be: among the poor and the suffering, among the people that society counts as of lesser value. This must not be a Church that triumphs in its airtight doctrines, but rather a messy Church that loves and cares about the people who get pushed aside and forgotten. 

 

This Sunday can become such a beneficial time  to enter more deeply into the call of Jesus to love the poor with the very heart of God. Take great joy that your heart is being challenged by Pope Francis’ direction to go out towards the poor of this world.